What To Say or Not To Say To A Bereaved Mother

What To Say or Not To Say  To A Bereaved Mother       

I like to share various conversations on what to say to us when I precious child/children have been killed or pass on by sickness with a group I am in for Grieving Mothers These comment bellow is the grieving mother’s reaction to this flyer. Feel free to share your comment. Thank you.

Hello Chat for Grieving Mothers

May you please share what are the things people say or said to you dealing with the loss of your child or children?

I find this flyer and it says almost everything what people have been saying to me. I love the interaction #cartoon conversation between people who gossip or saying things to one another about a grieving parent. Some people do not have any clue. This, not a life we chose. It has been going on four years my only child has been killed by Community Coach reckless bus driver operating NJ Transit bus 709 in Bloomfield, NJ when he flew by the bus stop and jumped the curb running over my son twice. People have no clue what us grieving parents are mothers going through.

People needs to be mindful what not to say to a grieving mother/parent.

Na Johnson  I do not like when some say, How you doing? One of my son's friend mother will say that to me all the time. I told her please do not say how you doing to me, it irritates me. Because, she was there with me when my only son/child was killed and she see I suffer from a disability. Do you know she told me oh, I am going to be alright? I told her my son was helping me out when by disability flairs up and he will drive for me. So, how am I going to be alright. Then she say she knows how I feel because she lose her brother to suicide. My son was murder by a reckless bus driver who blew by the bus stop and jumped the curb where my son once stood running him over twice. There is no comprising. She will do childish thing by repeatedly saying how your doing? She display her ignorance. Now she has four of her children with her. I know she will  go off  and be a mess if something happen to her children.  These people have no damn clue since they are not in our situation.

May 22 at 12:00pm

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Kathy Meshes Wow so true

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 · Reply · May 22 at 12:14pm

Barbara Jennings My worst was "be thankful for the child you still have"

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 · May 22 at 12:15pm

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Kathy Meshes A co-worker told me a week after my son passed life goes on you just deal with it

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 · Reply · May 22 at 12:16pm

Barbara Jennings I have had that too.. They have no clue

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 · May 22 at 12:17pm

Na Johnson Kathy Meshes My sister told me I am just wasting my life away and she tiered walking on eggshells and have to watch what she has to say. Then she told my cousin to leave me along that I have go through this all along and she has no patient with me. I told her you counseling people at church and you always monitor what you have to say to them.

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 · Reply · May 22 at 1:21pm

Na Johnson My friend told me that the good ones always go.

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 · Reply · May 22 at 1:24pm · Edited

Kathy Meshes Na Johnson I understand, my sister was never there for me and she claims to be a good chrisitan. Thank God for friends thats all I can say. When my son was on life support she was on vacation. Her words were don't try to get a hold of me I will can you when I get a chance

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 · Reply · May 22 at 1:24pm

Na Johnson Kathy Meshes WOW! My mother mistreated me two years later after my son was killed in a worst way dealing with his lost, who was my only child. She told me I was selfish and other painful actions. I was surprise of my mother behavior because she lost my brother, her only son. I will think she will be understanding what I am going through. I guess I was wrong. Can you believe that they do not see they did anything wrong? They  think I am the problem not them. Go figure!

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 · Reply · May 22 at 1:30pm

Na Johnson My son is a music artist and his music video is online so I watch his video and listen to his music. My sister told me I should be grateful for the times I had with my son. And, grateful that I have videos all online to look at because other people do not have that. Now my sister have one child like me who she is close too. She is a heartless insensitive person and she call herself a Christian. 

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 · May 22 at 1:34pm

Kathy Meshes That is hard. I just don't understand people, thats why this group has been good for me. We just support each other. I use to get upset over it, with my sister, but I don't any more. It is what it is.

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 · May 22 at 1:34pm

Na Johnson Kathy Meshes I just cut my sister off. Before my son was killed by a reckless bus driver my sister told my son untruthful negative things about me. Like I am irrational and other stuff. My son was upset with me and told me what she said. I called her and told her the things she said to me. She denied it, but I know she told him those thing. Because she said other hurtful things to me in front of him when we was at a family reuinon in SC.

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 · Reply · May 22 at 1:39pm

Cindy Grewing I had 2 friends who lost a child and I understand that people don't know what to say. My son took his own life which will be 3 yrs in 8 days and I had a lady tell me that ones who committed suicide would spend eternity in hell. I was so hurt and upset. Can't believe someone can say something so cruel to me.

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 · May 22 at 1:40pm

Na Johnson Cindy Grewing How does that lady know if your son is going to hell. She does not have God or the Devil on speed dial. People say things like that because that is what their understanding of the bible. I truly believed Cindy Grewing that your son is in heaven. A loving Hug.

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 · May 22 at 1:46pm · Edited

Dana Moffett I know how you feel..and wellbyou still have your other daughter

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 · May 22 at 1:39pm

Kelly Trivigno I had someone say to me, because my son and was sick for 9 months before he passed, he actually said to me, well at least you knew it was happening and it wasn't sudden. I just stood there dumbfounded and shook my head..i wanted to rip his throat out, but I refrained and walked away.

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 · May 22 at 5:45pm

Kathy Meshes Insane right

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 · May 22 at 5:46pm

Kathy Meshes Or at least their not in pain anymore. I got a lot of that. My son didn't ask to be sick

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 · May 22 at 5:48pm

Kelly Trivigno yes I've gotten that too. i get it, folks don't know what to say.. so say I'm sorry and offer a hug.. and leave it there

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 · May 22 at 5:49pm

Yvonne Tobin You must be some strong, I never be able to survive....those words go right through me....we are not strong we got no choice!

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 · May 22 at 7:50pm

Na Johnson I have people tell me that too. You must be strong because your child want you too be. They do want you to grieve. I look at them and say how you know want my son want, you never met him. Those who met him say the same thing. I tell them how do you kno...See More

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 · Reply · Yesterday at 6:41am

Shyy Reed Until it happens to them! Then they will really understand, So please' spare your comments!😭🙅

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 · Yesterday at 1:13am

Na Johnson I agree cold heartily They do not understand because they are living in a world that they call common and full of joy with their children. So, they think we supposed to be happy as well. They do not understand our children was a part of our world of ...See More

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 · Yesterday at 6:34am

Na Johnson Hello my grieving mothers, I had someone yesterday ask me how are you doing today? I cannot stand that question how I am doing. I told the young lady I am not doing well physical or mentally. I am in pain everyday without my son and all alone. This is ...See More

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 · Yesterday at 6:55am · Edited

Kathy Meshes I good friend of mine asked if I was ok. She asked all the time I finally told her no I'm not fine and I will never be fine. She said I really do know that. Just know I'm here for you

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 · Reply · Yesterday at 7:09am

Na Johnson I have people who been around me since the time my son was murder by a reckless bus driver who jumped the curb asking me that question all the time. The already know how I am doing. I tell them you know that is not a good questions for me. Then they sa...See More

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 · Yesterday at 7:18am

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